Working with your spouse can be…
How to work with your spouse? That is the question right now.
It’s no secret.. Jamie + Mark are involved. 😉
With our wedding coming up, and us working together at JTP for over a year now I think I will answer the question confidently of how to work with your spouse.
It can be uncomfortable at times, but other times it’s an amazing partnership. I should mention I don’t think this sort of thing is for everyone, and that is okay! If your relationship needs that complete separation of work and love, you do you honey!
First let’s get the bad mojo out of the way.. things you should not do or say when you work with your spouse:
1: You’re home all day, why didn’t you do XYZ
2: You’re not good enough at XYZ
3: Power Trip
4: Belittle, negative, or bad communication
Oofta, I know easier said than done on certain things but it’s important!
Second, the things that help you both grow working together…
2: Assign roles / jobs / tasks
3: Set time aside for house, relationship, and work
4: Teach the other what they don’t know
5: Do tasks that are strengths to each person
6: Take breaks together, do not work on breaks
7: Praise each other
8: Keep business about business and do not make it personal
9: Set clear expectations
10: L.A.S.T (listen, apologize, solve, thank) >> Attack
Working with a spouse can be hard, specially in a creative aspect because you can have completely different visions.
I started Jamie Tobin Photography and brought Mark on, so technically yes I am the boss in our business roles, but in our personal relationship we are equal partners.
It can be frustrating for Mark with having me as the boss, not because I am.. but because people perceive him as the one in charge and he sets them straight that I run the show. He’s a great man, and has no shame in admitting that I work my ass off so he can be a house husband!
We like our roles in work.. if / when we ever have humans of our own I don’t want to be a stay at home mom. I love working, I love my career, it brings me joy working… Mark wants to be the chef, the home maker, the one who keeps the house running. I love that about him and our relationship in general.
(2022 Edit — I am now currently a SAHM by day, and working my business by night! Crazy how times change hehe!)
Running a household is a job, whether you have kids at home or not. Making sure bills are paid, and the lights are working, the fridge is stocked, it’s a task and I am not putting anyone out because more power to you for doing this job.
The way we approach a job is very straight forward. I set the expectations very early when I brought Mark on to make sure we could do this together. He knows what I want when we shoot a wedding, he knows what I expect for turn around when we do videography for Express Dance and fitness.
We both know our strengths, and from that we set the tasks that are better for each other to run the business better. It’s not personal, it’s “Mark is faster at culling, Jamie is faster at editing” business.
Sometimes we just need a second opinion or a slap on the back you got this dude.
Other times we need a swift kick in the ass, get your work done.
Always, ALWAYS, leave work at work though. When it’s time to take a break, do it. Do not work yourselves silly and then grow apart as lovers. Take a vacation, binge watch Harry Potter, and get out of the house together. Do life together and leave work together.
I will repeat again, Communicate with each other, always! If there is a problem and you need to take a break, breathe, and come back and solve the problem. There will be problems, there will be days you just hate people completely, work through it.
We know sometimes we just need to be in separate rooms, not because we’re mad at each other, but because that is what we need to breathe and just be able to work that day.
That’s about the majority of it, unless you think I left something out! Comment below!
Love, jamie + mark
Check out our recent 2022 + work all over JTP’s website here!
Want to have an adventure elopement…? Good thing I am now featured over at Wandering Weddings!